12.28. 2015

It’s been a year since I’ve posted anything. Believe it or not but having a blog takes a magnitude of devotion for it to actually exist successfully. A year can change even the most scheduled , on track person, and most importantly, it may teach you a few new things about yourself. Remember the guy I talked about last year? He still remains the love of my life. And I have great news for those romantics out there. It remains magical and everything you could ever dream that love consists of. Love. Support. Intimacy. Honesty. And my favorite: Inspirational. I’ve never quite met a man like him before. My favorite thing about my relationship is that we have, instead of finding differences in how each of us has changed, have grown together. Such a wonderful thing when two can find the beauty in the growth and the excitement for the future. His dream is to be in the military and mine? Mine is to become an Attorney and eventually establish my own practice in the city. Our paths and dreams are completely different, but our goals for us in the relationship remain the same. When I was younger I would always see my family and all my older cousins having children young and never really following their dreams or plans for their career. I would always tell myself, “I will never do that. Guys aren’t worth altering your path to success.” I told myself I would never date after me and the man I’m with broke up. However, here I am. Still with that man. Still happily in love. And thinking about the future scares me a little. Not because I’m scared of the reality of growing up but more that I’m scared of the reality of distance and time tearing us apart. I believe we will last. And I believe, like mini me so highly opposed of: he is worth it. And not just him but Love is worth it. What’s the point of success when there is no one by your side to bask in it? He plans to be in the military for the rest of his life, and that scares me only because I don’t want our child growing up with only one parent around watching him/her grow up each and everyday. Although those are ideas I struggle with, it will work out the way it is intended to. Which is why I have chosen not to force anything that the guy I am with and I are not ready for. It is so bizarre how fast time has seemed to slip away. I can almost remember it as if it were a day go: Me worrying about a guy I’m dating and if he likes me or why he didn’t hug me before we said goodbye or worrying about not getting the same Spanish class as him. But now? I’m worrying about him dying on the battlefield and me losing the love of my life as he fights for the love of his country. The friendship spectrum hasn’t been so bright this year. And it’s honestly not a bad thing. I’ve realized that a lot of the friends I thought I had were merely just people I needed to get rid of when I had the chance. Do you ever just feel like you’re being used? Or maybe like your best friend only talks about herself and her latest boy toy? Yup. That was me. And let me just tell you: once you stop being friends with those who are toxic, there is really only smooth sailing from there. Don’t get me wrong. Putting an end to something that has almost felt like forever when you’re a teen can be painful. But it is essential. You remember that friend that your parents always said were not true friends or the friend that your parents got a bad vibe about? They were most likely right. Believe it or not but you’re parents care more about you than you think they do.I guess what I want you, my reader, to get out of this is that sometimes Love may alter your path and there is nothing wrong with that. It’s important to always just follow your heart with whatever you decide to do. And just a friendly reminder: your family and your true best friend will support you with your decisions. I’m sorry for ranting so much. I guess that’s just the life of a teenager jumbling so many thoughts in her ever growing mind with so much more to learn and grow. Don’t even get me started on school! But that can be discussed later.

Until then, my readers, continue to expand your knowledge and remember; you are beautiful.

~An Ordinary

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