Relationships: Fantasy vs. Reality

You may have noticed that when it comes to relationships, the chase is the best part. You know that moment when you are really feeling for someone and you constantly feel sparks with that person and everything feels optimal to the point where you seriously start believing that you might actually be in love for the first time in a long time. The guy is chasing you, putting the effort, those good morning texts and goodnight texts, always reminding you how beautiful you are and how much they want to be with you to the point that you give in and y’all finally become official/exclusive, whatever you want to call it. I’m sure you believe that it is going to remain that way. The constant affection, seeing each other all the time, having interesting conversations through text and in person. Okay beautiful fantasy right? Here is the reality. Those fireworks were a figment of your imagination. Often times those late night talks about life and the connection slowly and progressively die away. So why? Well it is simple. Your relationship just becomes too comfortable. You forget how much you really enjoy their personality because to be honest? And this is based off of observations, becoming “official” is a loaded statement. Becoming exclusive comes with things like meeting the family, sometimes even still getting to know the person that you are with and the more and more time you spend with them the more and more you find out about their personalities and the little things that they do. Often times, however, becoming “taken” means that certain things are expected of you. I don’t know why they are, it is just society pressure i guess, but, the physical aspects of relationships begin to progress, normally faster than they should because OMG you love him/her so you have to show them! Right? WRONG. You should be able to show them how much you care without having to have sex (this goes for any kind), I mean you did it before you both decided to be with each other right? I mean at least I hope you did. I don’t know what it is with guys and girls of this generation that think that relationships mean you HAVE to have sex. What the hell about sex is so damn special that you have to experience it with everyone you date instead of the one person that you truly want to share something so intimate with? SO many times individuals forget the meaning of it because they are so caught up in the moment, even when the person truly does mean something to you, your hormones go wild that you are so consumed with the idea of seeking and gaining sexual pleasure that it becomes merely, well, sexual pleasure, rather than an actual connection, emotionally. I’m not condemning anyone who does enjoy casual sex, because that is all you and you live your life the way you live it, i guess the idea of having sex with everyone I date just doesn’t strike my fancy. Anywho, it is as if you get so comfortable in your relationship that nothing is exciting anymore and often times one sided. You lose things to talk about besides the physicality of your relationship and how beautiful  how amazing you look. And I guess it is just the reality of it all. And it sucks. But most importantly, IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY. Relationships are what you make them out to be. Just because you label things does not mean anything has to change. Remain best friends even within your relationships. Value the person you are with for who they are and what they do to benefit your life and you MENTALLY. I understand we all get busy with our lives sometimes and we can’t exactly make time for each other all the time, but how hard is it to just shoot a goodmorning/night text or check in without the one person who is trying the most to make it work having to feel as if they have to force conversations to have to speak at all that day. I’ll never understand why people allow their relationships to die just because they get comfortable and forget that relationships are always a chase, even when you are in them. You just have to have the mindset and perseverance of wanting to win the chase and your partner everyday. 

~An Ordinary 

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