Going through trials and tribulation within your life is tough, especially when it involves the people closest to you, in this case, the woman who gave birth to me. We have always been close but for some reason, lately it is as if we are shifting in different directions and I don’t even know how to be myself without feeling like I am not being what she wants me to be. The thing about parents sometimes is that they want you to do things but they want you to do it THEIR way. They want you to be someone who isn’t exactly, well, you. I have grown accustomed to having to be tough and never show my emotions because if I do I am “being dramatic” or not being “grateful for the positive things in life.” Despite the fact that I am a firm believer in acknowledging the optimistic side of life even amidst the pessimism surrounding it, I do believe that it is important to acknowledge how you are feeling inside. Today, in particular, was just a not so great type of day so after spending a majority of the day with my parents catching up on shows, I decided it was time to enjoy my own solitude and go to my room, eat some ice cream and watch a Netflix movie. As soon as I did this, however, It was looked at as “excluding myself from the family” despite the fact that I spent all day with both of my parents. It is frustrating feeling like you are not what your parent or who anyone wants you to be and even though I could be upset at this, I am proud of the individual that I am. I have learned in the short amount of time that I have lived, that it is essential to always remain true to yourself and your beliefs. Never change who you are for anyone. Those who love you will accept you for the person you truly are. Those who can’t don’t deserve to have you in their lives in the first place. I know me and my mom will be okay. I just need to continue to persevere and be myself. I know her intentions are pure and a parents love is something that cannot be compared to another which is why I always make sure to take advantage of the time I have with my parents and cherish every moment: the good, the bad, and the ugly.
~ An Ordinary